Are You Leading from the Head or the Heart?

I have a client who founded and runs her own company. She is brilliant, talented, committed, and well-respected by her team. 

And, in one of our recent coaching calls, the FIRST item on her agenda was how to become a better leader for her kids. 

I hear this from leaders all the time- they may feel competent and capable at work, but in their personal lives, they don’t uphold boundaries, they compromise their integrity, or they fall into a cycle of people-pleasing. This can occur in other areas of leadership as well- with their families, in their communities, and ultimately, with themselves.

A year ago, I volunteered for Best Friends Animal Rescue in Utah. I spent most of my time there caring for the dogs, but I went way outside my comfort zone and signed up for an afternoon with the horses.

Horses have always intimidated me. They’re big. And mysterious. And scary.  Luckily our volunteer coordinator that afternoon was phenomenal. She took her time sharing so much about them. At one point, while we were all walking one of the horses, she decided to take us off the road into some brush.

She handed the rope to me and said, “You need to show him you’re the boss.” 

Gulp.

A measly little rope is not enough to control a 1,200-pound animal. And horses don’t speak English. I had to find my own leadership inside to guide that horse. 

I admit it was rocky at first. I walked through a couple of bushes. Then I learned how to slow my breath, how to manage my own energy, and more than anything, how to be 100% present. Later that day, I was able to guide that same horse to match his pace with mine.

I learned to lead from my heart and not from my head. This wasn’t about strategy. This was about connection and respect. 

So when my client brought up her leadership challenges with her children, I asked her what energy she was bringing to her interactions with them. What part of her was leading with them? The heart of the head?

You can ask yourself this question in reference to anywhere in your life you see yourself lacking in leadership. Are you bringing the energy of authority, confidence, and equanimity? Or are you bringing the energy of grasping or pleasing or exhaustion? Are you someone who isn’t practiced with leading from the heart? Because if this is you, you’re not alone.

As leaders, the way we show up matters.

My client became far more conscious of how she was showing up with her kids, and slowly- she saw those relationships start to shift.

If you’re ready to up-level your leadership, reach out. Women Who Want More- The Leadership Edition starts in 3 weeks. There are 2 spots left.

Is one of them yours?