There’s no Crying in Leadership?

Tonight, I brought in a guest facilitator to lead an art process for one of my coaching groups.

After she warmed us up with crayons, she asked us each to draw a moment of joy, to just pick the first thing that came to mind.

What came to mind for me was a moment with my mother about a year ago. I was in North Dakota to help my father move, my mother had dementia and had been moved to memory care, so we moved him to a fabulous independent living facility.

My mother hadn’t known me the whole time I had been there. After I left her room on the last night, I realized I had my father’s keys so I went back. Her caretaker was getting her ready for bed. I approached her and asked her if I could have a hug. She said, “Of course,” and when she pulled me in close, she said softly, “My darling precious daughter.”

My heart filled with joy. She knew me! Before I left for that trip, my coach asked me what a miracle might look like and I said that the most magical thing that could happen is if my mother recognized me.

It was the last time that she knew who I was before she passed, and this moment is permanently etched on my heart.

So, I drew a representation of that moment tonight. I never ask my clients to do something I haven’t done or won’t do, so I participated along with them. I was the last to share, and the client who shared before me had drawn a picture of a beautiful celebration dinner where a small band played the song "Moon River."

"Moon River" was my parent’s song.

I shared my picture and my story. With my clients. The women I lead. There were tears. At the top of the page, I had drawn a row of angels. My mother was staunchly Catholic and even though physically things were difficult for her, I like to think that there was a collection of angels watching over her.

I could have chosen a topic that wasn’t so personal, something that didn’t have the propensity to make every participant reach for tissues. That would have been the easier thing to do.

But I didn’t. Because, to me, effective leadership is about authenticity. It’s about being willing to be honest and vulnerable with those we lead. It’s about allowing ourselves to truly be seen. It’s about a commitment to continually work on ourselves so we can show up for others.

I ask you- Do you think the women in my group now see me as being a stronger leader or a weaker one?

Let me know in the comments.

And- if leveling up your leadership is on your bucket list- I have a group for that. Reach out to me.