Dementia and my Mother

My mother didn’t know me today.

She was diagnosed with increasingly serious dementia years ago and this week we moved her and my father into assisted living.

I took this photo less than a week ago- she loved walking around the track by her house. We talked about simple things- the feel of the wind in her face, the rustling of the trees, the beauty of a summer’s day.

And today, 5 mere days later, she doesn’t know me or any of my sisters.

I knew this would come- one day- but I was wholly unprepared for the emotional ramifications of this.

They say it may be temporary- from the stress- or- this may be it.

I have loved and hated and then loved my mother again.

Today I wish I could have loved her more.

I hope that one day she’ll look at me and smile with recognition and say my name.

I hope I get to tell her just one more time how much I appreciate her.

I hope I get more time with this wonderfully complicated woman.

And if I don’t- thank you Mom, for the way you loved me- fiercely. Even when I tore your glasses off your face and stomped on them as a teenager- you never gave up on me.

And now I’m not giving up on you.